Monday, 31 August 2009

Oh, This means War.

Just blogged but Ruby, being the MASSIVE DYKE She is, has layed down the challenge. So, I shall show her up with my top class girls. No description needed. Prepare to be wet. or hard. Depending on your sexuality. :)

Jessica Alba

Freida Pinto

Abbey Clancy

Chloe Madeley

Kayleigh Pearson

Anna Friel

Zoe Salmon

Maria Sharapova

Alexa Chung

Gemma Atkinson


Anna Kournikova

Top 10 Girls, Jonny Version... WIN!

Glancing through one of my friends blogs I had noticed that she had done a top 10 girls list, The massive dyke :P
I thought that being the red-blooded, Clunge-hungry sort of guy I am I had better copy her, mine will obviously be better, I have better taste, ;).
Shall we begin? :P

1. Hayden Panettiere
She burst onto the scene playing the lead in the film racing stripes. She's matured so much that when I started watching Heroes I didn't recognise it as her. She's fucking gorgeous and blonde and curvy. 3 Major ticks in my book. I would... any day....... Anyway, moving on before I start drooling :)

2. Kathryn Prescott

You won't notice the name but you will recognise the picture. 1 word, Skins. She made the whole series playing closet lesbian Emily Fitch. Of course I'm gutted that she's gay... but she did fuck JJ... maybe theres hope for me yet? :)

3. Keeley Hazell

rybody knows her, the worlds best page 3 model. Her assets have made many men and women have to change their underwear in her time I'm sure. She's got what I would describe as the perfect body, Curvy but toned at the same time. Om nom nom :)

4. Emma Watso
Ahhhh, Miss Granger, M
y long time Crush, I have wanted this girl since the second film came out, I remember sitting in English babbling about how much I wanted her in my pants. Puberty was such a fun time :P. Best of all, She's now legal, Bring on the secret sex tape. Horny Hermione :)

5. Megan Fox

Seriously, Who wou
ldn't, We all Know she'd get it. :) I think she's drop dead gorgeous. And one quote in particular cements her firmly in this list. "I have the Libido of a 15-year-old boy, My sex drive is so high." Need I say more?

6. S
tefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
Long Name, hot body. Lady Gaga as she's more commonly known is fucking gorgeous. Definately the queen of Pop in 2009. She wears very little and tbh, she has the body to be able to do it. The rumours going round that she is a hermaphrodite are quite evidently untrue but whatever. Let people speculate. Let everyone get put off by her penis and I'll just take her vagina. Kays? :)

7. Katya Virshilas

I will admit to not knowing a lot about this girl. I saw her in the newspaper the other day though and I was like NOM. :) Basically she's the new professional dancer on Strictly come dancing, She's also an Actress appearing in films like Shall We Dance and John Tucker Must Die and TV Series such as Smallville and Supernatural. She was born in Lithuania but is a Canadian national. :)

8.Hayley Williams

The Lead singer of Paramore. Without her I doubt Paramore would be known, her singing, but more her looks and gender boost Paramore's celebrity status a lot. Possibly the Sexiest Redhead on the planet. :)

9. Cassadee Pope
The Lead singer of Hey Monday, The New Paramore. Its exactly the same story as Hayley Williams tbh. Although Hey Monday are a better band than Paramore. :)

10. Lily Allen
Last minute Inclusion. She's Gorgeous. And she has the nicest Ass in pop music in my mind, Her songs are usually fucking incredible and she's done well emerging from her dads shadow.

Also worth a mention:
Lindsey (Lyn-Z) Way

Cristina Scabbia

Brody Dalle

Friday, 28 August 2009

Catch Up... :D

Okay, I Know I haven't blogged for a while but there is a reason for this. People I don't want to know what I have been up to have been reading my blogs. I have been contemplating this blog for a while and Decided... You know what, Fuck them. I'm 17 and I'll do what the fuck I like. So here goes... Review of what happened since I last posted. It'll be brief. :)

Thursday 20th August - Went to Mummys and spent the day with her and my sister and cousins, I was so tired all day and I have no idea why, Meh. In the evening there was a beach party planned but only 7 people showed up, So me, Craig, James, Dan, Rob, Kai and Jemma went to Shrubbs field and messed around in the park. Jonny + ADHD + (Rainbow dust X 5) = WIN :D.

Friday 21st August- Woke up around 12, Was Supposed to meet Mikki at 12:30... No chance, Got there about 2, Went back to mine and had sex. Yes, had sex. Go ahead people. Start Judging me, Lets make it worse shall we? It was unprotected. But I know she's clean and she got the morning after pill so (Y). We honestly tried to use a condom but it wouldn't fit and you try telling a horny girl that she can't have sex. Plus I was horny as fuck, that was my first sex for 8 months and tbh I forgot how good sex was. Walked Mikki home again. Cycled home again. As far as I recall that was it for my Friday, :) Oh no, Wait, met up with Nicole and Matt, They smoked some weed and we went to the shop, Matt fucked off to get more weed and me being the gentleman I am walked Nicole home

Saturday 22nd August- Bit of an uneventful day by the previous days standards. :L Went to Cricket in petworth. Nice ground in the garden pretty much of Petworth House. We were skittled out for 96. I got 0* without facing a ball. Shame, I fancied my chances, I was in a batting mood. Oh Well. Got a bowl. Took 1-16 off of 6 overs, Not bad, Perhaps deserved more, the batsmen were bricking it, maybe I really am a fast bowler after all. :) Went home and then decided to meet up with Nicole and Matt again. Ended up staying with them in my Caravan all night, No Sleep (N). Ah well.

Sunday 23rd August- Got ready and biked to the station again, Got the train to brighton again and then met up with Emilyy. Finally, After 1 Year and 4 Months of friendship and Relationship I met a girl who means one hell of a lot to me. Spent the day with her. Realised how much she really means to me and yeah. We just walked around Brighton and stuff. It was pretty perfect. I think I may want to get back with her, I dunno, We'll see. Need to see her again and confirm feelings and shit. Plus she lives so far away... BLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Anyway...

Monday 24th August - As far as I recall I stayed in bed all day until Football. Cycled all the way to the Arena (5/6 miles away) only to find out the other team aren't even there. Brilliant, Still, get to keep the £3. XD Plus we played a friendly, Which we drew, I played rather well even if I do say so myself :) Matt and Nicole wanted to stay in my Caravan again, Fuck off, I wanted to sleep :P

Tuesday 25th August - I don't remember doing anything on Tuesday, Bit of Facebook, Msn, The Usual. :P

Wednesday 26th August- Had training for Felpham today, Went really well, Played well in goal and on pitch, This Felpham team looks very decent. I'm glad to be back to be honest :D

Thursday 27th August - Another Lazy Day I think. Got my Provisional license and booked my first lesson for nex Thursday though. :D:D:D

Friday 28th August - Lazy yet again, Went to Spenny's in the evening, Rather enjoyable time :) I do a killer cat impression , :p

Thats it then, Dunno when I'll update next, May well use this purely for random posts nowadays, Less trouble.

Thanks for reading :)

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Burger in a Shoeeeeee!!! (Y)

Good evening... Infidels. :D

As promised... Here is my account of todays events...

My alarm failed to wake me up... again. FAIL. So I awoke at 10 in a panic, spoke to Natalie and decided I would go to meet her in brighton. So I speed like a bullet on my bike to the trian station, 4 and half miles in 20 minutes... Average speed of... 13.5 MPH. (H)

Anyway, got the ticket and a bottle of water because I was sweating like a dyslexic on countdown and got on the train. Got off at Barnham and found out that the next train to brighton was cancelled due to the train being faulty... Surely they could use another... Genius people at southern... Anyway... Waited an HOUR for the next one. During this hour I had a lovely phone call with my asian best friend who was in fucking Surrey. SURREY?!?! and then randomly saw James... or Tim... I dunno :P. Got on the train... eventually... and rang natalie... She was stuck at Haywards Heath due to some fucker getting on the tracks and then having to switch the power off... Why? If the cunt is stupid enough to go on the tracks let him get fucking electrocuted, his own fault. Ended up getting to brighton before Nat and rang my best mate Taliah. Spoke to her for a while, then she ditched me for Marley and me... (Bitch) and Natalie turned up, we saw each other in WH Smiths... just as we did the first time we met up... Seeing her brought back so many memories. Anywayy...

As always is the case in Brighton we started walking... and kept walking until I said "Hang on... where the fuck are we going?" :P. We walked around the shopping centre, went to the pier... sat talking about shittt, rang Siana... her mum had to answer the phone to her... the little pussy. :P Finally we decided we were hungry so we made our way to Mcdonalds, I had 2 cheeseburgers because I was hungry... well... I thought I was... I Could only manage one and had to put the other one in my bag... My bag contained only deodrant originally but I looked like a fag with an empty bag so I shoved some shoes in their. I'm so Bad ass. :D And one of these shoes became my burger holder. XD

I took great pride in walking round exclaiming "I have a BURGER in my SHOE". Aha. God I got some funny looks. We Sat back on the pier and then on the beach. We had another good chat :) Walked to the station and said goodbye... Got the train home and Biked round to Max's, got the football signing on forms which I will do tomorrow and came home. :)

Heres the bit some people will dislike. Yes, me and Natalie did Kiss. Yes I did enjoy it. No I don't regret it. I'm single for crying out loud. Just because I'm interested in you doesn't mean I can't lead a normal single life. So fuck you. :)

Anyway, I've bored you enough again.
Shall write ASAP aboutt Tomorrow (Mums, Haircut, Exam results and Party) and if I don't do it before Friday I shall also write about my day Friday, whether its with one girl or another. :)

Love y'all. :)

P.s Who is the random welsh girl that is following my blog? Sorry, I don't recognise you. Add me on msn?
Thank you :D

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

All aboard the bandwagon :)

Greetings nosey fuckers and friends who care enough to read this. :D

After a couple of friends began writing blogs I decided it may be a good time to start spurting my thoughts and innermost feelings all over the internet. Good idea? Maybe not, only time will tell.

Also I can use this as I diary to see what I've done on certain days. So... Today...

I was supposed to go play football today but after waking up at the time I was supposed to be meeting everyone 3 miles away I decided against it. Maybe a bad idea... Went on the ol' msn.. had some nice conversations... And then I found out that 1 of my ex's was getting it on with another girl that I used to like... not the best of news especially considering the girl I used to like enjoys trying to wind me up... Anyway... After some heated discussions my self confidence and and self esteem had taken a bit of a battering after the girl I used to like took things a little too far I decided to meet up with Mikki.

Mikki is somebody who I have been on and off with for a little while but whenever I see her we always have a nice time. So I spent the afternoon sat in a park cuddling and kissing. It felt so nice to lay there feeling no pressure and having someone I know really does care about me laying next to me. No strings attached. We then walked down to KFC and got my dinner which I ate whilst walking/cycling her home. Saw her home and then cycled home about... 6 miles in 40 minutes... Average speed of 9 MPH (H), :P

On the way home I cycled past so many things that bring back memories. It was quite... I dunno, A odd mixture of Happiness, sadness and regret. Meh. I've bored you enough.

I Should write again tomorrow of my day with Natalie and my return to competetive football. :)